LiFe....III

what is lyf..it is full of care..there is no tym to stand and stare...

life..the very word that carries with itself all emotions, feelings, truths, fallacies, dreams and destinations..the very word that ends wid the truth called "death"

i might not know the reason..but off late..i juss have been thinking about "death" and what i wanted to accomplish before finally surrendering myself at the altar of death...

what is it to finally achieve what you want in your life? or what is it to follow your instincts and keep marching ahead..

what i know is that what ever it is..i have to just keep working..
i might not be a firm believer in "karma" but i surely do believe..that destiny is sthng that awaits you...your presence..your loyalty, hardwrk and perseverance...

"what is it that i wanna accomplish.." sounds gud...crazy me-:)... but it started off vd the very wrd "marriage"..n then  i knew what exactly i wanted...some unsaid, unrealised dreamz..some unknown fantasies and some weird sounding promises to myself...

i started on it...the li'l journey to self realisation and fulfilling my dreams, i realised that everything aint so easy.. hat no bdy would want you to do sthng that u desire, that u like,,,its mre of abt making other's happy and doing a job that would suit them, not you...

Caught in this dilemma i thought of self evaluation and doing what made me happy... :P sadly though the only thing i faced was criticism and agony...

maybe these are the ways of the world..maybe this is the test of the tym..maybe God wants me to get toughened up again...

I av promised myself to shun my worldly attributes of malevolence, selfishness and live a life..happy and simple...and now all it wanted me was to revert...to fight back for myself...and face all those who thought that i was on a crappy road..

well..what eva it is..i love being me..n m proud of myself..all my fallacies are mine,,and i would nt blame the world for having changed me...but to all those who think i would live the way they want..cummon guys..u av gt to be kidding me...on ur face..is the word u might be luking fr frm me..:)

its either "do or die"..n fr me...since death is eternal..i plan to "jst do it"...to hell vd the world..this is "my life" and i own it...dare not mess up vd me...

LiFe....II

Life...as my first post said...is a whirlpool of emotions, fake relations, desires,and wishes...some miseries that may leave you feel defeated...
But, god always sends some angels..called friends...who come into your life to make it beautiful...
The way they hold u when u r in a abyss, the way they make u smile when u r sad, they way they show u the ray of hope wen u c d clouds of despair...the way they coax u wen u miss your mum....
friends indeed..make life worth living....
As a child i was one of those who were taught to nt to make frenz...fr dey wud spoil u...lol..(i nw realise that was certainly mean)
As a teen i grew up alone..left home and found an extended family..in the name of my friends..so many cities..so many hostels, so many rooms, so many friends..life saw some very special people come..make some strong bonds..and then wander around..vd hearts still tied to me...
These very special people..whom we surely tend to forget with time, forget to remain in touch with...or just too callous to talk to.. were the only ones that made us survive wen nobody was around..were the only ones who showed us the path when we had lost our way.. were the ones with whom we have realised our dreams,  and respected our smiles...
They accpet us  as wateva we are,,who knw wen to kick our ass and who can  listen to our unending love stories vdout getting bugged...
To these very special people in my life...i owe my smiles to you guys...u av made me live..u av made me strong...if it wasnt fr u guys..i wunt av been sitting around in here...carefree of wat destiny awaits...
To all of you..thanks for holding me..thanks for being vd me...i may or mite nt be vd u nw..but ur memories remain..all alive n kicking...miss you guys..love you a lot...god bless ya...:))

LiFe....

The only thing that comes to a person in her primes is "life" and  certainly i...like many youngsters , am caught in the intricacies of life...

As a child i always thought what was it like to turn adults, i always wanted to grow up..to feel everything big, to dream big... As a teenager i saw some of the  truth's related to life..that life was like a soap bubble...temporary and vulnerable...so delicate that a whiff of air could blow it away...life was a mirage..everything looked certain and vivid..but actually turned out to be a  fallacy...

I saw some loved ones leaving..some souls remaining in our hearts forever..and it was then when i thought what is it like to live a life after death....

Years passed and and i left the haven of my mother's arms to start a life..afresh..on my own...a life that for me meant growing "big", understanding what actually the world was...loving and being loved...n experiencing every moment that life gave me...i wanted to fly high..reach the zenith of victories..to feel alive and awake in my own ways..to smile n make other's smile..where animosity, hatred jealousy were never to be seen...where life was pious, where life meant "god"....

Never did i realise that these were some unrealised dreams, these feelings were all my child hood had taught me..this was not what i was meant to be..

For i stand here today..22..a lady who has loved, n was loved, a girl who flew high, a child who knows to smile all around, and make other's smile..but..has lost the sense of oneness, selflessness..benevolence...i now  hate, and get hated, desire and snatch the desires... smirk in a smile and  deceive in love...i still crave for that haven..i still crave for that prudence..alas..though..has set in a my sycophancy and shrwedness..i intrigue in plans and play with thoughts..i over power the brains,,n dodge the evil...

N still..i say.."i am living life...my own ways,,my own wishes...

Just a matter of fact...i am not happy..i am burning inside...

Just a thing for self realisation...i am all shattered..all broken....

Just a moment of truth..let me be a child again.....